R.I.P.
I Talk Nonsense
Happy Valentine's Day!
Remember to cherish your loved ones...
It doesn't have to be a tangible gift, sometimes just your time and genuine concern can go further and last longer than a gift that will deteriorate over time...
Try and love the same everyday as you do today.....
It doesn't have to be a tangible gift, sometimes just your time and genuine concern can go further and last longer than a gift that will deteriorate over time...
Try and love the same everyday as you do today.....
Noodles first day at Preschool...
Arrrrrgh!
So I'm writing this little post as a way to vent my stress getting ready for the little one to go to her first day at preschool.
MC found a job and we needed to enroll Noodles immediately.
Good thing we have a nearby Learning Center that was available.
I was pretty stressed out all weekend thinking about the issues we'll have to deal with while sending the little girl away (pretty much for 10 hours a day) into the hands of "other" people.
It's truly a scary thought when you've had the luxury of having a wife at home all day to care after her before.
In times of need, your family is the one to count on.
This was an example that wasn't short of that belief.
Although I had some early problems dealing with my anger & lashed out in many unwarranted ways. I think the 2 breadwinners in our house have gathered their prides, threw them down and realized that working on raising a functioning, healthy (physical & mental) human being was more important than "how we felt"...
<this might apply a lot more to me than MC...after all, I'm the one with a bottomless pit of psychological & physical ailments that seem to need constant tending to>
Marriage is hard in and of itself...
slide a child into the mix?...and it doesn't get easier...
it's almost like an acid trip....
whatever emotional state you are in at that moment is just heightened 10 fold by the drug known as child.
sometimes you just get caught up in a single thought that draws itself out to a whole ordeal that was completely uncalled for.....
hence, my life up until the age of 33....
Children really force you to reevaluate what you want from life...
where you plan for yourself to be...
it forcibly rearranges your priorities....
some for the better, others for the best....
Well, today MC dropped her off and so far I heard most went well...
I think that the first day is still new, she gets to experience a ton of new things, so it's harder on the parents than the children...
tomorrow (the first day "I" drop her off is gonna be the doozy)...
wish me luck...and let's hope I can start to rid myself of this awful feeling that I'm abandoning my child into the hands of some lady who I don't know....
........I was gonna write about my trip to London, the jet lag I found and other randoms...but I guess that'll be saved to update the front page of my site....(which I'm sure I'm behind quite a bit....)
pictures will be updated by end of this week also.....
til tomorrow....be on the lookout for.....CUPID.
free,d
So I'm writing this little post as a way to vent my stress getting ready for the little one to go to her first day at preschool.
MC found a job and we needed to enroll Noodles immediately.
Good thing we have a nearby Learning Center that was available.
I was pretty stressed out all weekend thinking about the issues we'll have to deal with while sending the little girl away (pretty much for 10 hours a day) into the hands of "other" people.
It's truly a scary thought when you've had the luxury of having a wife at home all day to care after her before.
In times of need, your family is the one to count on.
This was an example that wasn't short of that belief.
Although I had some early problems dealing with my anger & lashed out in many unwarranted ways. I think the 2 breadwinners in our house have gathered their prides, threw them down and realized that working on raising a functioning, healthy (physical & mental) human being was more important than "how we felt"...
<this might apply a lot more to me than MC...after all, I'm the one with a bottomless pit of psychological & physical ailments that seem to need constant tending to>
Marriage is hard in and of itself...
slide a child into the mix?...and it doesn't get easier...
it's almost like an acid trip....
whatever emotional state you are in at that moment is just heightened 10 fold by the drug known as child.
sometimes you just get caught up in a single thought that draws itself out to a whole ordeal that was completely uncalled for.....
hence, my life up until the age of 33....
Children really force you to reevaluate what you want from life...
where you plan for yourself to be...
it forcibly rearranges your priorities....
some for the better, others for the best....
Well, today MC dropped her off and so far I heard most went well...
I think that the first day is still new, she gets to experience a ton of new things, so it's harder on the parents than the children...
tomorrow (the first day "I" drop her off is gonna be the doozy)...
wish me luck...and let's hope I can start to rid myself of this awful feeling that I'm abandoning my child into the hands of some lady who I don't know....
........I was gonna write about my trip to London, the jet lag I found and other randoms...but I guess that'll be saved to update the front page of my site....(which I'm sure I'm behind quite a bit....)
pictures will be updated by end of this week also.....
til tomorrow....be on the lookout for.....CUPID.
free,d
Eye clocks, cockfosters and celsius
It is below freezing in the UK.
The people are fast paced, like NY.
I had a chance to see a few historical sites before the grind begins.
It was a bit overwhelming adjusting to the speed of the society.
I can't wait to be back home.
I already miss you Noodles & MC.
The people are fast paced, like NY.
I had a chance to see a few historical sites before the grind begins.
It was a bit overwhelming adjusting to the speed of the society.
I can't wait to be back home.
I already miss you Noodles & MC.
Sunsets, anyone?
The day ends.....
Night begins...
Life mends....
The strife of sin.
Night begins...
Life mends....
The strife of sin.
Glory!...Glory!....Glory!...
The most amazing feeling I feel,
Words can't describe what I'm feeling for real,
Baby, I paint the sky blue,
My greatest creation was you,
You....Glory......uih
False alarms & false starts,
All made better by the sound of ya heart,
All the pain of the last time,
I prayed so hard it was the last time,
Ya mama said that you danced for her,
Did yooooou wiggle ya hands for her?
Glory!...Glory!....Glory!
Sorry,..... Everything that I prayed for,
God's gift, I wish I would'a prayed more,
God makes no mistakes, I made a few
Rough sled in here and there but I made it through,
I wreak havoc on the world,
Get ready for part 2,
A younger, smarter, faster me,
So a pinch of Hov, a whole glass of B
Glory!,....uh....yea!
The most amazing feeling I feel,
Words can't describe what I'm feeling for real
Baby, I paint the sky blue,
My greatest creation was you.
Ya grandpop died of liquor failure,
Then he died of liver failure,
Deep down he was a good man,
God Damn I can't deliver failure,
Bad ass lil' Hov,
2 years old shopping on Savile Row, woooooo
Wicked ass little B, hard not to spoil you rotten, looking like a little me,
The most beautiful-est thing in this world,
Is Daddy's little girl,
You don't yet know what swag is,
But you was made in Paris,
& mama woke up the next day and shot her album package,
Last time the miscarriage was so tragic,
We was afraid you disappeared, but nah baby, you Magic,
So there you have it, shit happens,
Just make sure the plane you on is bigger than your carry-on baggage,
Everybody goes through stuff,
Life is a gift, Love
Open it up,
You're a child of destiny,
You're the child of my destiny,
You're my child with the child from destiny's child
That's a hell of recipe,
Glory!,...Glory!,....Glory!....Sorry
Glory,....uh,....yea,....uh
The most amazing feeling I feel,
Words can't describe what I'm feeling for real,
Baby, I paint the sky blue,
My greatest creation was you.
At the zoo...
Created with PicSay on my SGH-T959
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
Body or Spirits?
I heard something the other day that resonated deeply with me....
"We must remember the following:
We are spirits experiencing this Earthly body, not Earthly bodies experiencing spirits"
It's an age-old tale about our bodies being mere vessels to transport our spirits through the Earthly realm.
After having my daughter, life has become more meaningful to me on a spiritual level.
I realize that there are undoubtedly greater purposes for me as a being, it's not only to contribute to my spiritual growth, but to ensure that my daughters spiritual growth is nurtured with the best possible guidance that I am capable of providing.
When I was left only to care for myself, my spirituality was within. It's something that I keep to myself and believe strongly in others doing the same.
For many years, I have had long discussions with my peers, family & randoms about the existence of higher powers.
My approach to my spiritual growth has been internalized and rarely shared, even with my wife.
I have family who are very versed in the traditional forms of religious followings and friends who are the same. I myself have chosen (for a long time now) to keep my distance from many of the organized religions. I realize that each person can take away whatever they want from anything. Maybe my personal bias' have kept me from experiencing some of the goodness that exists within the churches of the world.
Lately, I've been leaning (ever so slightly) towards introducing some religious aspects to my daughter.
I recognize that there are many great goods to come from religious experiences of the organized kind.
There is learning what's "right" and "wrong"...
there is teaching one to care for something other than themselves...
and there is ....well,.....BABYSITTING.... ha.
Almost all organized religions have programs for the children...these programs can be a savior (p.i.) for the parents.
Not only do they have culturally geared programs such as Chinese Schooling, Korean Schooling, etc. but they also have after school programs.
Many of these things allow parents to continue working and not having to spend an arm & a leg on the daycare costs of today (Kindercare is NOT cheap peoples).
The diagram of the modern family now is usually comprised of 2 working parents and rarely are there grandparents that are available to retire & take care of the grandkids while the parents work.
Some lucky family structures do have strong bonds that will allow for many conveniences to the parents.
Myself, I am not in that luxury.
So, in order to make my wife's life easier, which in turn makes my life easier, I have come to reassess my hard lined stance to keep myself & my children out of organized church.
Now this is no way whatsoever a guarantee you will see me at a church near you, but it is a single step towards it.
Let's just say I'm not so opposed as I used to be.
Now back to my original points about Humans being spirits experiencing Earthly bodies.
You can tell a lot about how a person takes care of their body by how they take care of their cars.
After all, both are vessels for our spirits.
Our bodies need constant tune ups.
That requires us as imperfect beings, to be able to sit back and truthfully assess our stance in the world.
Do the things we do coincide with how we want to be seen?
Do the things we do represent the person we are?
An experiment that I've done for a long number of years is to sit in front of a mirror and talk to myself.
Ask myself the hard questions that will fluster my soul, question my existence and even make me rework my angles of attack.
It's a very difficult thing to look yourself in your face and ask yourself:
"Are you a good father?"
"Are you a good husband?"
"Have you been a good son?"
"Are you a contributing member of society?"
"Have you accomplished all you are capable of?"
"Can you do more than what you are already doing?"
"Do you lie to yourself to protect yourself from shame?"
(notice how the questions get longer and longer)....
It's a very long experiment and sometimes you can be drawn to tears and other time you have sheer Joy when you can genuinely tell yourself that you've done what you've chosen to do.
I believe that we are our own correctors.
We have to hold ourselves responsible more...we have got to show ourselves that we are what we say we are (cue Dennis Green, lol).
Our friends & family, they are versed in covering up our faults.
Rarely, can you find a person who will shoot it straight to you when you F*** up.
when you find one of those people, many times you shun them away because they make you uncomfortable.
However, when you are uncomfortable, usually it means that there is something that could be changed (for the better) to make you comfortable.
Leaders have the knack to make people uncomfortable.
They are willing to ask the questions that are left silent elsewhere.
They are willing to pose a situation that will force others to evaluate their own actions.
Leaders don't stay quiet, they speak up.
Leaders are first and many times have more mistakes than followers.
Mistakes are great sources of growth.
only if you learn from them though...remember, making the same mistake over and over while expecting the same result is the definition of insanity.
We must all find a way to become Leaders of the New School (hip hop reference, =)...the school that is going to change our spiritual minds in 2012...
Once we are willing to look at ourselves, clothes off, inhibitions turned off, protective lies erased, we will begin to grow spiritually.
I hope this long rant doesn't make you think I'm a crazed drug filled conspiracy theorist, what I hope it does is make you reassess your approach, be real with yourself, don't fake the funk and live life how it should be lived. With love for yourself, others & our spirits....
"We're fighting for our spirits & mind"......G.O.O.D.ie M.ostly O.ver B.ullshit!
free,d
"We must remember the following:
We are spirits experiencing this Earthly body, not Earthly bodies experiencing spirits"
It's an age-old tale about our bodies being mere vessels to transport our spirits through the Earthly realm.
After having my daughter, life has become more meaningful to me on a spiritual level.
I realize that there are undoubtedly greater purposes for me as a being, it's not only to contribute to my spiritual growth, but to ensure that my daughters spiritual growth is nurtured with the best possible guidance that I am capable of providing.
When I was left only to care for myself, my spirituality was within. It's something that I keep to myself and believe strongly in others doing the same.
For many years, I have had long discussions with my peers, family & randoms about the existence of higher powers.
My approach to my spiritual growth has been internalized and rarely shared, even with my wife.
I have family who are very versed in the traditional forms of religious followings and friends who are the same. I myself have chosen (for a long time now) to keep my distance from many of the organized religions. I realize that each person can take away whatever they want from anything. Maybe my personal bias' have kept me from experiencing some of the goodness that exists within the churches of the world.
Lately, I've been leaning (ever so slightly) towards introducing some religious aspects to my daughter.
I recognize that there are many great goods to come from religious experiences of the organized kind.
There is learning what's "right" and "wrong"...
there is teaching one to care for something other than themselves...
and there is ....well,.....BABYSITTING.... ha.
Almost all organized religions have programs for the children...these programs can be a savior (p.i.) for the parents.
Not only do they have culturally geared programs such as Chinese Schooling, Korean Schooling, etc. but they also have after school programs.
Many of these things allow parents to continue working and not having to spend an arm & a leg on the daycare costs of today (Kindercare is NOT cheap peoples).
The diagram of the modern family now is usually comprised of 2 working parents and rarely are there grandparents that are available to retire & take care of the grandkids while the parents work.
Some lucky family structures do have strong bonds that will allow for many conveniences to the parents.
Myself, I am not in that luxury.
So, in order to make my wife's life easier, which in turn makes my life easier, I have come to reassess my hard lined stance to keep myself & my children out of organized church.
Now this is no way whatsoever a guarantee you will see me at a church near you, but it is a single step towards it.
Let's just say I'm not so opposed as I used to be.
Now back to my original points about Humans being spirits experiencing Earthly bodies.
You can tell a lot about how a person takes care of their body by how they take care of their cars.
After all, both are vessels for our spirits.
Our bodies need constant tune ups.
That requires us as imperfect beings, to be able to sit back and truthfully assess our stance in the world.
Do the things we do coincide with how we want to be seen?
Do the things we do represent the person we are?
An experiment that I've done for a long number of years is to sit in front of a mirror and talk to myself.
Ask myself the hard questions that will fluster my soul, question my existence and even make me rework my angles of attack.
It's a very difficult thing to look yourself in your face and ask yourself:
"Are you a good father?"
"Are you a good husband?"
"Have you been a good son?"
"Are you a contributing member of society?"
"Have you accomplished all you are capable of?"
"Can you do more than what you are already doing?"
"Do you lie to yourself to protect yourself from shame?"
(notice how the questions get longer and longer)....
It's a very long experiment and sometimes you can be drawn to tears and other time you have sheer Joy when you can genuinely tell yourself that you've done what you've chosen to do.
I believe that we are our own correctors.
We have to hold ourselves responsible more...we have got to show ourselves that we are what we say we are (cue Dennis Green, lol).
Our friends & family, they are versed in covering up our faults.
Rarely, can you find a person who will shoot it straight to you when you F*** up.
when you find one of those people, many times you shun them away because they make you uncomfortable.
However, when you are uncomfortable, usually it means that there is something that could be changed (for the better) to make you comfortable.
Leaders have the knack to make people uncomfortable.
They are willing to ask the questions that are left silent elsewhere.
They are willing to pose a situation that will force others to evaluate their own actions.
Leaders don't stay quiet, they speak up.
Leaders are first and many times have more mistakes than followers.
Mistakes are great sources of growth.
only if you learn from them though...remember, making the same mistake over and over while expecting the same result is the definition of insanity.
We must all find a way to become Leaders of the New School (hip hop reference, =)...the school that is going to change our spiritual minds in 2012...
Once we are willing to look at ourselves, clothes off, inhibitions turned off, protective lies erased, we will begin to grow spiritually.
I hope this long rant doesn't make you think I'm a crazed drug filled conspiracy theorist, what I hope it does is make you reassess your approach, be real with yourself, don't fake the funk and live life how it should be lived. With love for yourself, others & our spirits....
"We're fighting for our spirits & mind"......G.O.O.D.ie M.ostly O.ver B.ullshit!
free,d
Look who is driving....
Well, the ride ain't moving but she don't know
Where's the grinch?
......@ universal studios.
Grinchmas in effect.
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
Grinchmas in effect.
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
No lakers?
Uh oh....calling dish now.
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
"I learned I no longer believe in surprise...."
